What does the term “protocol”, as it relates to kink relationships, mean to you?

When I first mentioned this on Twitter, @mollysdailykiss said, “I hope you get your page up before I leave. I’m curious how you define protocol.” Which is a legitimate question, as I usually do define, at least to some degree, the various kinks that I choose as a topic for the Kink of the Week. This topic is so specific to a person’s relationship, however, that coming up with a “set” definition here would be counterproductive, I think.

This topic is all about defining the concept of protocol, and explaining how that looks and works within your own relationship(s).

But okay, I’ll give you all a little more than that to play with.

In doing a little research, I found a well-written, thoughtful discussion about the concepts of protocol, etiquette & rituals: Protocol and Behavior within a D/s Relationship. She defines each rather elegantly, and then applies them to her own relationships. In short, rituals are actions performed within a relationship for their symbolic meaning; etiquette is the structure and set of “rules” that define our behavior with one another in social settings; and protocol defines the behaviors – usually of the submissive towards the dominant – within a D/s relationship, that symbolize that relationship.

So, do you have protocols in your kink relationship? If so, what are they? Are they elaborate or simple? Followed at all times, or only during certain situations? Are they followed in public, or do you have “public” versions and “private” versions?

If you practice protocol, how did this come into practice in your relationship? Was it something you discussed together, or simply decided upon by the Top?

As a Top or a bottom, how does practicing protocol make you feel? As the bottom, if you forget any of your protocols, do you feel guilty? Are there consequences to not following protocol?

If you do not practice protocol, why not?

Allrighty, kinksters, let’s Get Our Kink On and talk about protocol!

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