Kink of the Week January 16-31: Safewords

I know this is not a kink in its own right but it is a huge and much debated topic within the kink community and so it seems like a topic that should definitely be covered here.

A safeword is a word or phrase agreed upon by people that if used by one party will bring the play to a stop. Some people pick a word or phrase but some like to use the traffic light system. So green for everything is OK, amber for things are getting close to the edge but don’t stop and red for absolutely stop right now.

As a general rule the debate on Safewords seems to split into two camps; those who always advocate having a Safeword and would never play with anyone without negotiating one and those that thing they are a false security and don’t like them. There are some people who advocate them for casual play but in long term relationships feel they can be dispensed with. I guess one could say they are holding the middle ground on the subject.

So what about you? Is a safeword part of your kink relationships. Have you always had the same word. How did you pick it? Is there story to your safeword or is it just something completely random? Has anyone ever tried to talk you out of having one or worse ever ignored your safeword? Is there something about your kinks or type of play that makes a safeword essential? Have you ever used your safeword? How did it make you feel?

If you are the Dom what are your thoughts on safewords? Do you think they protect you as much as your submissive partner? Is playing with someone without a safeword a hard limit for you or maybe you are of the mind that they are completely unnecessary?

For those of you who are not in a relationship what are your thoughts on Safewords? Do you think they are a good thing and something you would always wants to have or do you think they are an overrated idea that doesn’t really do anything to keep you safe.

Alternatively you might in the camp who doesn’t use Safewords. If so why? Did you use to have one and then dropped it. Do you have a dynamic where you feel a safeword would interfere with how things work? Maybe the type of kinks you indulge in render them unnecessary in your opinion?

Don’t forget that Kink of the Week can also be fiction so how about writing a piece of erotica that centres around the topic of a safeword. I think it is a subject often not explored in fiction writing and I would love to see more of it.

Let’s Get Our Kink On and talk about Safewords

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  • Write your post
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If you’d like to submit to the Kink of the Week but don’t have a blog, or want to do so anonymously, send your submissions to [email protected] and I’ll post it.

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